Nervous Nelly

Nervous Nelly by Emily Sturgill
5/18/13

Nerves of steel,
turned to jelly-what has happened to me?
The Scattered Strung out Capital
Letter "S" fell
right off my chest.

Now I have become nothing more -
nor nothing less,
than a nervous nelly,
a girl put to a test.

I wonder why I bother,
to write such dribble-drabble,
that's likely as all sorts
of hell,
to get me into trouble.

I worried what people will think or feel,
when they read what I have written.
I question myself, my sanity, and my writer's ability...

So much, is just never thought out,
I'm a bit like the faucet,
that never finishes dripping out.
I dribble,dangle, words
into something reductive.

a subtraction of emotion,
a fraction of truth, and than
what else???

The "S" fell off my chest so very long ago...
I doubt it was ever really there.
Nobody's superhero-lately,
just another crazy-lady.

One who talks too much,
and shouts crap from the roof-tops,
and cobweb corners and such
a mumbling muttering crazy old hag.

A bag of flesh and bones,
drifting upon a sea of words,
best left unspoken,

but deep inside of me,
there lies,
an utter and angry bitch

and she does and says what-ever,
when-ever, she wants too,
not much I can do to rein her in,
my bipolar drugs/meds they help,
to a bit to calm her inner storms.

yet still deep within, she's an angry bad girl.
and I am a nervous nelly.
Writing down so many secrets from
my head.

What will people say? What will they think? And how will they feel?
Is it too personal to admit,
I do go crazy from time to time.
at least i don't live there anymore.