tired and wore out by Emily Sturgill

Tired and wore out, wore down,

exhausted both mentally and physically-

ill both mentally and physically.

Somethings just not right

i had another panic attack

last night.

the ones where i forget

the simplistic natural art

of breathing in and out.

gasping, groaning, doing

a freak out.

I'm not sure what triggered it??/

a little bit of nothingness-

a whole lot of everything.

Just really starting to feel,

the flip side of the coin

less than ideal.

the side with the sad face,

instead of a smiley happy face.

the sorrow i keep gathered

under my bed of feathers

sorrow breeds depression

while depression breeds discontent,

resulting into an

overabundance of frustrated tears.

I am just hoping,

and praying that /

this time will be different/

please do not let things

remain unhinged.

if they do,

i will surely break again,

right down the middle,

split in half.....

my bipolar skin-case

for all the world to see

to create a mockery

of me and my crazy-train

i rode in on.

but still lingers the sparse flower,

the reddest rose, itself contains

a glimmer of hope

for me to cling onto

yet beware the thorns.

yes, beware the thorns,

beware the thorns.

they are real,

and they make us bleed.

Ongoing Free E-book Promo: "Memoirs recalled Madness:a personal account of living with manic-depressive illness."

"Memoirs Recalled madness: a personal account of living with bipolar disorder." is a personal memoir I wrote dealing with living with over two decades of mental illness. I wanted to bring some awareness to this issue. It was very private and personal to me.

Here is a book description I wrote: "This is a personal account of the Author's own struggles during her lifetime of battling manic-depressive disorder over the course of over two decades. While she writes under her own name, the names of all other persons and parties have been altered. The details of her story are true to her own perspective. However, she realizes she sees the world through the colored lens which frame her mental illness. In other words, other persons may not recount the situation quite the same way. In order to protect these individuals privacy all such names have been altered. Places, are mostly omitted because she feels her story could occur in any-town/city/state/place in America."

I published it back in the end of March, 2013. It normally retails for $9.99 but right now through May 21, 2013 at 11:59pm you can download a free copy by going to this direct link here: http://www.amazon.com/Memoirs-Recalled-Madness-ebook/dp/B00C145EOU/ref=la_B00B1GC5LY_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1368903599&sr=1-3

  My personal account is roughly 83 pages long, and does contain some old family photographs and such. The names in the entire book have all been changed save my own. It is a story true to me, yet I realize I look at the world through a lens view of my mental illness. Others may have held different memories of events. I am not attempting to slander,  or upset any family or friends. Instead I just wanted to give a glimpse into what my life has been like living with a serious mental illness (or SMI.)